Oh! The Places You'll Go (Midwest Edition)!

So Wednesday we woke up and we took our leave
From Northeast Ohio, from the Land of Cleve
The Red Sox had just taken the first two out of four
But the Indians were hoping to settle the score
I could tell you about Beckett, Tavarez and more
But that’s not what this internet blog site is for…


Down Route 71 our rubber did burn
But after Columbus we took a left turn
On purpose! Don’t worry! Now don’t get irate,
It’s a town called Lancaster in this four-lettered state.

Right into this town, our tires were squealing
Where we drove up to a house on a street called East Wheeling
We made a short visit with Bertha, my aunt
But other business was ahead, so read on if you want.


My great-grandfather was once the mayor of this town

So to city hall Kate and I headed right down
To see what kind of weight my last name could throw ‘round
We were greeted quite welcomely, without a frown.

My grandfather and uncles, way back in the day
Had graffiti’ed the walls in an old fashioned way
So we went to take pictures up in the bell tower
Of the names of Paul, Ralph, and Frederick Sexauer.



As fun as that was, we had much more to go
On the western half side of O-H-I-O.
Across the south route, our engine did hum
To Middletown, Ohio, where my mom’s side is from.

Cousin Pat was our hostess, and few things does she lack,
She’s as quick as a pistol and sharp as a tack.
She treated us to dinner (O’Charley’s was the fare)
Like a Ground Round, but ain’t found near Boston anywhere.

We visited Pat’s friend, Mary, before our day was done,
I hadn’t seen her since nineteen ninety one.
After this much travel normal people would retire to their beds,
But Kate and I went to see the Brewers play the Reds.



Cincinnati’s Great American Ballpark is quite a sight to see,
Though it will always be Riverfront Stadium to me.
But it pains me to say this, their fans are so boring,
The guy sitting next to us was practically snoring.
There was no excitement, they cheer when they’re told,
Those goofy foul ball sound effects began to get old.
Despite all of this, it was free bobble-head night!
Free Frank Robinson bobble? I’ll take it, alright!


The Reds won and that’s because we thought we’d share
Some good luck, ‘cause there were two Red Sox fans there.
We went back to Pat’s, only to wake up in the morn,
So we could drive to Chicago through the Hoosier State corn.

We stopped at Tim Horton’s for Kate’s coffee craze,
Then proceeded to drive HOURS through long rows of maize.
If you’ve never driven through this country’s section,
It’s all soybeans and cornstalks in either direction.

At long last we made it at the end of the day,
To our stop for two nights, good ol’ camp KOA.
There’s no finer place to stay, be you girl or a boy,
Then the KOA camp in Kankakee, Illinois.


We woke up Friday morning, it started to rain,
But no matter! We drove ourselves out to the train.
So read on, our dear readers, for we’re about to tell
Our tale of how we did Chicago, I-L.


Can Chicago be done in one day? It might not be pretty,
But the Sexauer’s handled one day in the Windy City.
So with no real agenda we followed our ears,
To ascend a well-known tower, the people call “Sears”.


From 103 floors you can see quite a lot,
Most of it’s pretty, some of it’s not.


We had quite enough so we headed back down,
Where we traveled on foot to the east side of town.


We traveled by foot to a one “Gino’s East”,
To the home of the original deep dish pizza feast.
Couple beers, no beers, and a piece of Chicago’s pie,
Kate’s one lucky girl, Matt’s one lucky guy!


To Wrigley Field Kate and I both took a ride,
On the “L” to Addison Street, on Chicago’s north side.
Such a great piece of history, a fantastic landmark,
A very old stadium, second to Fenway Park.



Back on the “L” where we rode for a while,
And we got off and walked the “Magnificent Mile”.
It’s like New York’s Fifth Avenue and it’s not real hard,
To spend and spend, maxing out your credit card.

Just one more thing to do to round out our day,
Go down to the south side to see the White Sox play.
“Four games in five days!” Is that what you say?
It’s cheaper than Fenway, and that makes it okay!

U.S. Cellular Field is just kind of “blah”,
But the fans are better than the Reds fans we saw.
The two of us stayed until the seventh inning,
And that’s fine because the White Sox ended up winning.


At the end of the game, fireworks filled the air,
Again, ‘cause there were two Red Sox fans there.

Chicago’s a wicked cool town, I must say,
I wish we had a little bit more time to stay.
From Jake, Elwood, Ditka, and the late Harry Caray,
And to think it almost burned down by a provider of dairy.

Well Wisconsin, Minnesota, there’s not much to see,
There’s just one thing to do, to save your sanity,
Just one thing to do, for passing the time,
And that’s update your weblog, by making it rhyme.